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ZacksQuest
 Posted: Sep 10 2012, 02:35 AM
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The Dark Lord of Neophobism


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Also it is the greatest greedy man's comeuppance story since the death of the bad guy from the Jungle Book movie... and he was eaten by a cobra....

So words cannot explain how happy I am to have that.

If you want, you can use it in any of your blogs! Not the Evolution one of course, Smok already has that covered, but any other blog you do! :D


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NⓍFⓍurthWall
 Posted: Sep 10 2012, 02:38 AM
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QUOTE (ZacksQuest @ Sep 10 2012, 02:35 AM)
Also it is the greatest greedy man's comeuppance story since the death of the bad guy from the Jungle Book movie... and he was eaten by a cobra....

So words cannot explain how happy I am to have that.

If you want, you can use it in any of your blogs! Not the Evolution one of course, Smok already has that covered, but any other blog you do! :D


Wow you like it that much!

That means a lot coming from you.


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proxiehunter
 Posted: Sep 10 2012, 04:07 AM
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QUOTE (NⓍFⓍurthWall @ Sep 9 2012, 09:29 PM)
Entry 10: “Are you happy with you latest statue?”

“Very. Not many smile when it ends.”


So the minion of the thing that killed him makes a final entry in his journal? Not sure that works. I mean I like it but that last entry just throws me a little.
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NⓍFⓍurthWall
 Posted: Sep 10 2012, 04:30 AM
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QUOTE (proxiehunter @ Sep 10 2012, 04:07 AM)


So the minion of the thing that killed him makes a final entry in his journal? Not sure that works. I mean I like it but that last entry just throws me a little.


Actually the servant is supposed to be Jack of All. I was setting it up as if he wrote that, because he's an asshole. I do agree with you however and I changed it so the two are just talking to one another (instead of writing it in a journal for no real reason).


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proxiehunter
 Posted: Sep 10 2012, 06:34 AM
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QUOTE (NⓍFⓍurthWall @ Sep 9 2012, 11:30 PM)


Actually the servant is supposed to be Jack of All. I was setting it up as if he wrote that, because he's an asshole. I do agree with you however and I changed it so the two are just talking to one another (instead of writing it in a journal for no real reason).


Ah, yeah I realized that was Jack of All at the beginning I didn't realize that was him at the end too. I'll read the edit and let you know what I think.
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proxiehunter
 Posted: Sep 10 2012, 06:46 AM
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I'm really not sure what you ought to do about those last two lines. I like the journal entry parts. I like the last two lines and see how they're vital. But they don't seem to be meshing well and still look like they're supposed to be written in the journal (my mind insists on reading that as if the journals author is quoting Jack and the Gold Titan in his final entry).

Honestly the way I think this would work best is not doable, not well at least, on a budget you're likely to see. A short (very short) film where the journal quotes are done as a voice over and then a final shot of him as a statue while Jack and the Titan give their final lines.

Edit: A date instead of an entry number for the journal entries might also look better.
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Sordin
 Posted: Sep 10 2012, 06:50 AM
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Professional ideas guy.


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I think I'll write one using the unbound face.


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ZacksQuest
 Posted: Sep 10 2012, 10:12 PM
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The Dark Lord of Neophobism


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DO IT. DO IT NOW.

In the meantime, here's my rendition of it. I mean, I didn't make it, alli did, but this was my first go at it.

The Turning Head

Goddammit, I hate this. Fired from a job. It was an easy job, too. I did it well. Why the hell did they fire me when I was probably the best fucking employee they had? Huh… there’s a guy on the side of the road. He’s got a huge brown beard, dull eyes… probably some stoner or a hobo. He’s the kind of guy I get pissed off about. He’s nothing but a freeloader, why should I help out such a freeloading homeless jackass? He’s wearing a jacket, with the collar up high. I can’t see the sides of his face. I let him in. I don’t know why. I don’t care anymore. What was done is done. He says, calmly, “Thanks, stranger.”

I don’t know why, but I started talking to him. About my problems. About everything, about my former jackass boss… I don’t know why. He just had this… aura of knowledge, I can’t explain it. He says, calmly, “You want my advice, kid?” He then turns his head. I hear the bones in his neck crack. I look back over and he has a different face. I was so freaked out, I nearly crashed my Impala. He was a blonde guy, now, blue eyes, piercing blue… “You should go to that former boss of yours and teach him a lesson?”

“H-how?”

CRACK

“Tell him honestly and plainly.”

CRACK

“Beat him around the head, knock some sense into him.”

CRACK

“Ask him for another job. Any job. You NEED a job.”

CRACK

“Blow his fucking head off.”

I couldn’t take it anymore. I just chose the last answer this weird fucker said. I went to the nearest gun shop. Showed the man my permits, ordered a heavy caliber buck rifle, paid in cash and sped towards the shop I used to work at. I was a cashier at a 7 Eleven. I know, it’s not a job to kill over. But that hobo, whoever that many-faced freak was, just… his opinion just stuck with me. Like he hypnotized me or some shit. I got to the gas station. The boss was counting the day’s expenses. I came in.

“Hey, Marcus, what the hell are you doing?”

I pulled out the gun.

“Marcus, what the hell? D-drop it, Marcus… I’m calling the police, I’m-”

Before he could react, he was forced back by a buck shot that sent him into the fucking wall. I hyperventilated… then my breathing slowed. I heard the familiar ding of the store bell. The hobo guy was walking in…

“Marcus, what have you done?”

“W-what? You told me to-”

CRACK

I saw his head twist. His face changed from one of the hobo to the blond man again.

“Don’t sweat nothing, kid, you did great.”

B-but I k-killed…

“Some gang bastard woulda done it anyways…”

CRACK

“No, you fool, call the police! You can’t make someone take the fall for murder!”

I did what he said. I went to the phone, called 9-11, told the truth.

CRACK

“NO, YOU IDIOT!!! DO YOU WANT TO DIE? I DIDN’T THINK SO!” I made the mistake of looking at his face. It wasn’t a face… no, it was a caricature… a nightmarishly disfigured form of an angry man’s face. “GET YOUR GUN, AND BLOW THE HEADS OFF OF ANYONE WHO SO MUCH AS WALKS THROUGH THAT FUCKING DOOR!”

I did as he commanded. I did as he commanded… I did… I obeyed…

POW. BOOM. SPLAT. Radio chatter fills the room, smoke fills the air, gunshots ring… I hide in the corner. That god damned hobo is still there… he’s still, fucking there…

“You don’t want to face the penalties, do you, Marcus?”

I shook my head.

“I can help you find your way out, Marcus. I can help you… just submit to me and you won’t face those bad men.”

I nodded. To my horror and surprise, his head… he lifted it off his body… then, there was a flash, a flash of light… I screamed. I felt pain in the back of my head. Then all felt calm. We rose before the startled officers. The Bearded Leader said, "Turn. Walk away." They did so. While they were walking away, some of Us reached out and attatched to the napes of their necks. They would be back soon. Back as more of Us. We are the Opinons, we are the Advices. The many Faces of the individualistic world.

And now I am off. I am off back to wherever it is I am sent. Faces everywhere, suspended and flying in all directions to wherever they need to be, with but a black void between us. It is peaceful here. So peaceful. So free.


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ZacksQuest
 Posted: Oct 26 2012, 03:40 AM
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The Dark Lord of Neophobism


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QUOTE (WE ARE COLD)

The cold starts gathering round.
A chill rises from my spine
Tingling with the feelings of the cold
The ice whispers softly to me
In the faintest of echos,
"WE ARE COLD."

The snow keeps gathering round
The frost rising from my feet
Nipping with its cold, loveless embrace,
The blue-skinned child runs to me
Whispering, whispering,
"WE ARE COLD."

The children start gathering round
The fear rises from my heart
At the sight of their violet lips,
Cold steely eyes, blackened fingers
Around me, circling, they chant,
"WE ARE COLD."

The first child, the one with blue skin
Turns to face me. A crack rising from his chin
All the way to his broken, missing nose, cracks
Spreading round it like broken china.
Giggling menacingly, he says,
"WE ARE COLD."

Icicles, tapered to murderous points,
Sing through the air in their infantile hands
Cutting me, stabbing me, rending me
I fall backwards, blood rising from the wounds.
The deadly children repeat in satisfaction,
"WE ARE COLD."

Bleeding, tinting the snow a dull, pinkish red,
The children vanish in the fog
As if they were mirages.
The words rise in my dying breaths
With only the cold, uncaring snow to hear,
"I AM COLD."


Who says I can't do a good Cold Boy story?


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JJJ
 Posted: Nov 1 2012, 02:41 AM
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The alliterator of creepypasta.


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My first work: "Eleven Days in July", an Archangel/Choirpasta inspired by a post in the Blog Idea Dumping Ground. Comments and criticisms welcome, though that may go without saying.

QUOTE
Hey I know ur off doing stuff but guess what
MY LIFE SUCKS
My parents sent me 2 a summer camp
So its all gonna be canoes & hiking right
WRONG

Sry i stopped txting yesterday, didnt want kyle 2 see
He said we shouldnt txt cus it gets in the way of god or somthing
He was looking @ me when he said it 2
Like "I'm keeping my eye on u, homo"
Kyle is a douch
Any1 who works here NEEDS A LIFE
Srsly
R u there?
O yeah i forgot
U can read this when u come back

3 days in & guess what
NOTHING HAPPENED
We just listen 2 these preachers about how great jesus is & how he hates homo kids
& we got bibles 2 so we can read along
LIKE WOOHOO

Theres a guy over here that looks just like u
He keeps looking @ me & its kinda hot
<3 u, hope u read this soon
God kyles coming

Kyle took me 2 the woods and he told me 2 die
He looked crazy and he just kept telling me that i needed 2 kill myself because this was no place for me
He kept pointing at the woods and shouting
1 of the counselors came over and took him away and brought me back
I know ur dad doesnt know about us and doesnt let u drive but u have 2 get me out of here
Wait
Where did u go anyway
I forgot
Maybe u can tell me when u get back from... Wherever

If ur in this camp just 2 mess with me i am gonna be SO PISSED
I SWEAR THAT GUY LOOKS JUST LIKE YOU
HES EVEN WEARING THE SAME HOODIE
U better answer me if thats u

The preachers all about hell now
Fire this repent that
Werent we gonna do arts & crafts or somthing
But he was so happy
Like he was getting off on it or somthing
Also guess what

Kyle ran up 2 me yesterday
He told me 2 kill myself and pointed at the woods but he looked bad
He was scratched up and there was blood coming out of his ears
The preacher came up and dragged him away & he screamed
It hurt my ears
There SHOULD be a hell for people like him

Where r u?
I love u
I miss u
Im gonna find out tommorow if ur here
And if u r IM GONNA KICK UR ASS
See u tommorow

It isnt you
It has your face but it isnt you
Im running like kyle told me
Like i didn’t hear him say
Like i hear your voice everywhere
The preacher has your face
I dont know where this is
I dont know how long ive been here
It has your face and its coming for me
WHERE ARE YOU
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alliterator
 Posted: Nov 1 2012, 03:02 AM
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Ooh, I like that. And it's up.


Faces, Strange and Secret: An Anthology of Stories from da Fears Mythos: on sale from Amazon, Kindle, and Smashwords

My Finished Stories.

My Ongoing Stories:
Channel Fear (informational, educational, cynical)
The Supernatural Anaesthetist (seeing where science takes us)
Once There Was (the king is the kingdom)
An Old Man's Winter Night (at the winter of the world)
Unwashed and Somewhat Slightly Dazed (working for the man)
The Secret History of the World (unstuck in time)
Notes from the Underground (a place to stay)
Phantasmagorical (a bedtime story)
Paranoia: A Manifesto (wrecking the wall)
The Day The Music Died (running from sound and sorrow)
Abraham's Men (knights, ghosts, and shadows)
Pest Control (pulling the wings off of flies)
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NⓍFⓍurthWall
 Posted: Nov 1 2012, 03:05 AM
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The Wiki-Keeper


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That was really awesome JJJ. I hope someday I'll make a creepy pasta that good. Or good in general...


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proxiehunter
 Posted: Nov 1 2012, 03:06 AM
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I'm not clear if those are Choir based hallucinations or if his boyfriend is dead and it's the Archangel but I like it. And not just because someone finally ran with that idea of mine.
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JJJ
 Posted: Nov 1 2012, 04:31 AM
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The alliterator of creepypasta.


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QUOTE (proxiehunter @ Oct 31 2012, 10:06 PM)
I'm not clear if those are Choir based hallucinations or if his boyfriend is dead and it's the Archangel but I like it. And not just because someone finally ran with that idea of mine.


Unreliable Narration means never having to say "It's really..." And thanks. My apologies for not remembeing that you were the poster and giving proper credit.
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JJJ
 Posted: Nov 1 2012, 07:45 PM
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The alliterator of creepypasta.


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Here's "Statements Recorded From a Candlelight Vigil", which is strange because it's a Slender Man/Unnamed Child-pasta and the Child is the one Fear I don't like. When an eldritch abomination's trademark is leaving you alone... (No offense to anyone who likes her, of course.)

QUOTE
"I remember her smile. That's what keeps me going. And it's, it's really a terrible tragedy that she was taken."

"She was just the sweetest little thing, and anyone who says different hasn't met her."

"I for one will stay here in the house of the Lord until He delivers her to us."

"Not yours! Not yours! [This chant continues for about fifteen minutes, people shouting it at the outside world.]"

"I watched her get taken, you know. Tried to stop him, went for my gun. My house is on the edge of town, there's a level road leading off. Once I had it and I got back on the porch, they were gone."

"The first hours of this vigil are over, but we will stay strong in the face of adversity!"

"They've got me running around getting food and water while they pray. My Mom's in there. When I learned I was just, like. Wow. To think someone could just be taken like that."

"We have spent two days here in the service of the Lord, and I think I speak for all of us when I say that we will remain for as long as it takes."

"That rascal really touched us as a community, but I guess you could tell that already. And we've never been a bunch to lay down quietly."

"Oh, there you are again. You're one of the reporters, aren't you? Yes, of course you are. I watched her get taken, you know. [The pleasant, elderly woman repeats her account.] The man, I couldn't see him very well, but he was tall and wearing black. It was afternoon, the sun got in the way of his face. But if I ever see him again..."

"We're sorry, but the community needs to stay strong. Until she's returned to us, we can't have any more reporters coming in."

"Mom! Mom! I've been looking for her on the Internet and I. I found this! [The young man shows his mother a paper and she ushers him inside without any comment.]"

"It would seem some members of the community aren't taking the disappearance of a young lady seriously! I think I speak for us all when I say that this messing with pictures- attacking our memories!- will not be tolerated! [A number of people roar in approval. There are fast, loud screams.]"

"We've passed ten days here, and supplies may be running low, we can't lose our strength now!"

"That's him! That's him! [The elderly woman produces a small pistol and begins firing from a window in a random pattern.] How dare you take her away from us! [She continues this with excess ammunition for several hours."

"Friends, family! Investigations may be closed, but she will be delivered to us!"

"Not yours! Not yours! Not yours! [This chant is repeated throughout the church by members individually, punctuated with sounds of violence.]

"She's out there. Somewhere. [No further comments given by any members of the vigil which left. Inside there is little more than carnage, large swaths missing. A handful of members wander away on a level dirt road and disappear before cameras can be trained on them.]"
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