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 *PLEASE READ* Let's Talk Netiquette
LizardBite
 Posted: Nov 11 2013, 06:20 PM
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The Supreme
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So.... one of the mods recently alerted me to a few incidents that have occurred in the past year. To try and ensure that similar incidents don't happen again, I decided to make this thread outlining what is and isn't proper behavior.

So what is "netiquette"? Well, it's a portmanteau of the words "net" and "etiquette." Obviously this means that it refers to proper behavior on the internet. You see? It's clever, right? Yeah, I didn't think so either, but it's apparently a common term, or common enough that Firefox recognizes it as a word, so we're using it.

Here is a helpful list of actions you can take to ensure that you are well behaved, that you are not hurting anyone, and that nobody is being driven away from the forum out of fear.

1. Read before you post

If you are offering criticism to a work or having a debate with someone on the forum, then, after writing your post, pause a moment and reread it to make sure you aren't unintentionally saying something hurtful. You'd be surprised how easy it is to word something in exactly the wrong way to hurt another person.

1a. Breathe

If you are posting about an issue that is very near and dear to your heart, something that causes you to get riled up, then after you write a post, before submitting it, take a moment, breathe, and count to ten. Then, in a calmer state, reread what you wrote. You might be surprised at how harsh and cruel your words may sound. If it seems harsh, then rewrite before before posting. Remember: antagonism breeds antagonism. Whenever somebody perceives an attack, their first instinct is to attack right back. Stop this vicious cycle before it begins.

2. Mind your language

We here at the Fear Mythos frankly don't give a shit about harsh language, but there is a time and a place. Be mindful of the way you use these words. Hell, it doesn't even have to be a "harsh" word to bring forth the wrong impression.

One good rule of thumb is to be check your placement of words like "shit," "crap," or any other synonym for waste. If it is being used to describe an action of another forumite, to describe the work of another forumite, or something else along those lines, then there is probably a better way to phrase it. No, scratch that, there is definitely another way to phrase that.

3. Two wrongs do not make a right

If someone has done something that offends you, point it out as politely as you can. Odds are that they haven't even realized that they have done something wrong. The best way to combat ignorance is by educating, not through hostility. Remember what I said back in 1a about vicious cycles? It's natural to be upset and lash out, but try to rein that in, because if you do attack someone for doing something wrong, you are not fixing anything. You are, in fact, making the situation much, much worse.

4. Stay on topic

If you are in a thread dedicated to discussion on a certain work, then you should stay on topic. If someone criticizes a work for solving everything with a deus ex machina, you should not bring up that person's use of a deus ex machina. You should instead take that to the thread about that person's work (but remember to keep it civil using the other rules). Derailing threads to criticize something irrelevant is not cool.

5. Avoid the mob

If someone has done something wrong, and someone else has already corrected that person, then you should let it go. Do not dogpile on anyone. The message has been sent, and if that person does not correct the behavior, then you can feel free to add your two cents. Just remember, one at a time.

There should never be a situation in which multiple members of the forum gang up on one person. Doing so makes us a clique that keeps new people out. We want new people. We want our community to grow. Do not act like a bunch of sharks whipped into a feeding frenzy whenever you see something you disagree with. With somebody is already tackling the problem, then move on.

6. Give the benefit of the doubt

To paraphrase an old saying that was said by someone who I can't recall right now: Never attribute to malice what can be explained by stupidity. What this means is that you shouldn't assume that someone is trying to hurt you or being purposefully cruel. As I mentioned before, the best cure for ignorance is education, not hostility. Nine times out of ten, the perceived sleight is a mere poor choice of words or slip of tongue that means nothing.

6a. This goes both ways

This rule does not apply only to people giving criticism. If you are receiving a critique, assume that the person giving it genuinely wants to help you improve. We are a community of creators, and I know that receiving criticism can be difficult. However, you must make efforts to hear what people are saying, and to learn how other people perceive your work. This can only help you grow and improve as a writer.

7. Be aware of text's limitations

Internet forums are a text-based medium, and this has a number of limitations. The biggest is the absence of tone. Sarcasm or playful banter can be fun for all when talking out loud or face to face, but these tones do not exist when we are all merely reading. It can helpful to use cues to reveal your intended tone so people don't take offense. For example, I am a fan of using the tongue smiley to show that I am joking. Like so:

Obviously, I don't need to read this list, since I'm already perfect. :P

Be aware that the way people read your posts may not be the way you intended it. One thing to remember is that using harsh language like "fuck" and "shit" uses causes people to read your sentence in a harsher tone than they would otherwise.

8. Nobody is above the law

Everybody makes mistakes. Everybody can have a bad mood. It doesn't matter how long you've been a member of this board or whether your a mod or admin or not. We are all human.

Being a well-liked member of this community does not make you better than anyone. If you think that being here a long time, being well-respected, or anything like that means that you can say or do what you want, or that other people should bend to your will, then I advise you to grow the fuck up before I kick you out.

You should never be afraid to report poor behavior. There is a report button attached to every post. If a mod is a bullying you or an admin is bullying you, then you can find another mod or admin to PM with your concerns.

Nobody gets special treatment.

9. Beware the line

This is by far the most difficult rule to follow, because it is so subjective. Always remember that, no matter the situation, there is always a line that you should not cross. If you are having fun, teasing someone, goofing off, messing with someone, etc., then you should always be very careful to keep an eye on yourself and others. Do not get carried away. Do not go too far. If someone expresses discomfort, back off immediately. Do not try to debate whether or not you've crossed the line. Back off and apologize.

10. Apologies have meaning

I can't believe I have to say this. Some of the threads that were linked to me, which inspired this post, however, reveal that people on this forum do not understand this.

When somebody apologizes, that's it. Back off. Do not keep criticizing their actions.They understand what they did wrong. They are sorry. If you ignore the apology and keep it up, you are harassing that person, and that is a bannable offense.

When an apology has been made, that's the end of it. Assume the person has learned their lesson until they prove otherwise.

--------------

Read these rules. Remember these rules. Live by these rules.

Treat your fellow forumites with courtesy and respect, and they will treat you the same way. There is not a single person on this forum is not guilty of at least a few of these, but hopefully we can all improve.

NOTE FOR MODS AND ADMINS: When a conflict arises, your job is to remain impartial and judge the situation from a neutral ground. It is not to immediately side with whoever is your friend. It is not to side with whoever you know better. Favoritism is NOT to be tolerated. Take a good, long look at yourself and decide if you are strong enough to do that. If you don't think you can be impartial in these cases, tell me, and we will try to find someone else to fill your position.


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Myths and Monsters: Wherein I talk about mythical creatures
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alliterator
 Posted: Nov 11 2013, 06:52 PM
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The Jerkface Man
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I'm alliterator and I approve this message. *gives stamp of approval*


Faces, Strange and Secret: An Anthology of Stories from da Fears Mythos: on sale from Amazon, Kindle, and Smashwords

My Finished Stories.

My Ongoing Stories:
Channel Fear (informational, educational, cynical)
The Supernatural Anaesthetist (seeing where science takes us)
Once There Was (the king is the kingdom)
An Old Man's Winter Night (at the winter of the world)
Unwashed and Somewhat Slightly Dazed (working for the man)
The Secret History of the World (unstuck in time)
Notes from the Underground (a place to stay)
Phantasmagorical (a bedtime story)
Paranoia: A Manifesto (wrecking the wall)
The Day The Music Died (running from sound and sorrow)
Abraham's Men (knights, ghosts, and shadows)
Pest Control (pulling the wings off of flies)
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Tigerhallam
 Posted: Nov 11 2013, 08:46 PM
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Dum spiro, scribo


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QUOTE (LizardBite @ Nov 11 2013, 06:20 PM)

9. Beware the line


I'd just like to add that you should try seeing 'the line' from others' perspectives, as they may have different opinions of what's going too far. Sometimes it's obvious, but sometimes it's subtler.


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Sordin
 Posted: Nov 11 2013, 09:48 PM
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Professional ideas guy.


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QUOTE (LizardBite @ Nov 11 2013, 06:20 PM)


8. Nobody is above the law


Above the law? I AM THE LAW!
In all seriousness this is a very good set of rules to have.


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ZacksQuest
 Posted: Nov 13 2013, 08:34 PM
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I like these rules. These are nice rules.


In-Production Blogs

Back to the Avenue (Hiatus)
A Personal Inferno (Hiatus)
Salt Upon the Wounds (Hiatus)
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WereMagi | ThatDeanCarter
 Posted: Nov 13 2013, 11:02 PM
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Do not look for this one


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I see nothing about bloody sacrifices and gory rituals... Are they no longer allowed? :c


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NearTheEnd
 Posted: Nov 14 2013, 11:28 PM
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[Pops in from nowhere]
Yes, this is a good post. I believe these rules should be used in and out of this forum. If you disobey any of these, I will be forced to throw pillows at you. Mercilessly.


Current Projects:
Feathers On A Wing (Archangel Blog)
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DarkShadows
 Posted: Dec 8 2013, 12:48 AM
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2spooky Since 1991. OuO


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Whoa what the heck happened while I was away writing and doing Slenderverse stuff to cause these rules to be reiterated?

Seriously though. Good rules to have, I'm confused as to why everyone wouldn't just follow them as a matter of courtesy...


βŠ— You're not out of the woods yet... and you never truly will be. βŠ—

My Youtube ~ My ArtGrounds ~ My FictionPress ~ My Slendervlog ~ My (Personal) Blog

Blogs:
In The Dark Shadows ~ Between the Party Lines ~ Open Season ~ Shelly Loves Succulents ~ Night Class (STCZ) ~ Breaking The Waves (STCZ) ~ Graham, Positive ~ Twelve Days

Short Stories:
Project Him, a Slenderman vignette collection. ~ The Sycamore Project, decrypted tales of the Tall One. ~ The City claims another within its Drywall and Wiring ~ Got a MachineHead, it's better than the rest.
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Phobos
 Posted: Dec 28 2013, 03:45 AM
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He who bases characters off of real people


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Seriously what the fuck guys. Not even twenty days after we have this big talk about treating others nicely in the Mythos does a thread pop up that started tearing apart a person's idea without even talking to the person itself. I know that I am in no position to boss anyone around but seriously, do not let elitist bullshit damage this Mythos. Treat people with some goddamn compassion before pissing all over them and leaving them in a gutter.


All Characters in the following Blogs are based off of real people. Any resemblance to any persons, living or dead, is completely intentional.

The Shadows Verse:

Anthology of Shadows, A tale of men who became monsters.

Lost Souls (Vlog, September 2013), prey for the monsters who were once men.

My Fear Mythos/Doctor Who Crossover

Timelords and Terrors (Co-authored by Minute-Odyssey and Achilles)
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DJay32
 Posted: Dec 28 2013, 03:55 AM
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Sally Death
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QUOTE (Phobos @ Dec 28 2013, 03:45 AM)
Seriously what the fuck guys. Not even twenty days after we have this big talk about treating others nicely in the Mythos does a thread pop up that started tearing apart a person's idea without even talking to the person itself. I know that I am in no position to boss anyone around but seriously, do not let elitist bullshit damage this Mythos. Treat people with some goddamn compassion before pissing all over them and leaving them in a gutter.


From what I understand, this incident wasn't intended as elitist. It was good intentions gone south all because of being heated. It's arguable that maybe what would help this is giving the Wiki some more staff so the, like, two people that are responsible for the Wiki right now don't get overloaded like this.


EXHIBITS:
Viceking's Graab (Step inside the maze. You could spend an eternity here.)
The Mythology of Empathy (Eight songs, nine tracks. Welcome death.)
Ancestor (Five tracks. Death of the Artist and Chinese mythology.)
Fear (A visual art exhibit in blog format.)
Nobody anymore, never again (Another visual art exhibit in blog format.)
The Everyblogger Triad: 1, 2, 3 (Embrace the bad writing, give into your psyche.)
PLAN 31 (Frank Slenderman: Ace Attorney)
OH GOD THE RAPTURE IS BURNING (400,000 words. Five months. All Fears. Excess. On fifth draft, not final.)
Topography Genera (15 blogs. Conventional horror. See seas rise.)
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alliterator
 Posted: Dec 28 2013, 04:07 AM
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The Jerkface Man
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Yeah, DJay's right. The best of intentions, however, can still turn out wrong.


Faces, Strange and Secret: An Anthology of Stories from da Fears Mythos: on sale from Amazon, Kindle, and Smashwords

My Finished Stories.

My Ongoing Stories:
Channel Fear (informational, educational, cynical)
The Supernatural Anaesthetist (seeing where science takes us)
Once There Was (the king is the kingdom)
An Old Man's Winter Night (at the winter of the world)
Unwashed and Somewhat Slightly Dazed (working for the man)
The Secret History of the World (unstuck in time)
Notes from the Underground (a place to stay)
Phantasmagorical (a bedtime story)
Paranoia: A Manifesto (wrecking the wall)
The Day The Music Died (running from sound and sorrow)
Abraham's Men (knights, ghosts, and shadows)
Pest Control (pulling the wings off of flies)
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DarkShadows
 Posted: Dec 28 2013, 04:24 AM
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2spooky Since 1991. OuO


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The road to hell is paved with gold bricks of good intentions.

Maybe it would be best to remember the difference between constructive criticism/critique, and flat-out criticism. If you think something sucks, tell that person (nicely!) why you think so, and what they can do to fix it. Give suggestions, not just pointed, cruel remarks. Don't swear, don't use nasty words, don't call names, and don't make fun of the problem spot. Every piece of writing has flaws, and your stories are no exception, no matter how good you think they are. Even a "shitty" story deserves some time and effort put in to point out how to make the story good. How would you feel if someone sat there and tore your work to shreds for the grand crime of just not being a likable story? I know I as an author would feel devastated. Keep that in mind.

Remember that the emotions and intent behind words don't always travel well on the internet. What sounds like a nice wording or something to you can come off as harsh or cruel to the other person. We have emotes now, we've had them since the 90's. Use them if you're joking so people know you're joking. And be careful of how you word things. Use "I" statements ("I think", "I feel", "I am", etc.), not "You" ("You are", "You always", "You should") statements... unless the "You" statement is preceded by an "I" statement first (ex: "I think that you should work on the grammar in this passage; it looks like you might be confusing 'your' and 'you're'.") There's also never any reason to use nasty words and insults in a critique, ever! You're trying to help that person be a better writer, and tell them what you think would help with that. Don't be a bully!


βŠ— You're not out of the woods yet... and you never truly will be. βŠ—

My Youtube ~ My ArtGrounds ~ My FictionPress ~ My Slendervlog ~ My (Personal) Blog

Blogs:
In The Dark Shadows ~ Between the Party Lines ~ Open Season ~ Shelly Loves Succulents ~ Night Class (STCZ) ~ Breaking The Waves (STCZ) ~ Graham, Positive ~ Twelve Days

Short Stories:
Project Him, a Slenderman vignette collection. ~ The Sycamore Project, decrypted tales of the Tall One. ~ The City claims another within its Drywall and Wiring ~ Got a MachineHead, it's better than the rest.
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Oblivion
 Posted: Dec 31 2013, 08:02 PM
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The Morning Star


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I'm really digging the inclusion of:
QUOTE
5. Avoid the mob

Because holy shit, mob mentality can be scary as hell sometimes.

That being said, as I wasn't there per se when the incident took place, I can't really say much. However, I did read the thread in question and it did come off pretty harsh. So, ah, let's not let that happen again. I'm pretty shocked that some of you were even capable of being that rude, you know?
This is also why I haven't contributed anything yet, even after two years. You people scare me.


𝐻𝑒 π“Œπ’½π‘œ π’»π’Ύπ‘”π’½π“‰π“ˆ π“‚π‘œπ“ƒπ“ˆπ“‰π‘’π“‡π“ˆ π“ˆπ’½π‘œπ“Šπ“π’Ή π“ˆπ‘’π‘’ π“‰π‘œ 𝒾𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝒢𝓉 𝒽𝑒 π’½π’Ύπ“‚π“ˆπ‘’π“π’» π’Ήπ‘œπ‘’π“ˆ π“ƒπ‘œπ“‰ π’·π‘’π’Έπ‘œπ“‚π‘’ 𝒢 π“‚π‘œπ“ƒπ“ˆπ“‰π‘’π“‡.
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Phobos
 Posted: Jan 2 2014, 02:56 AM
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He who bases characters off of real people


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QUOTE (Various Identities @ Dec 31 2013, 08:02 PM)
You people scare me.


Well we are the Fear mythos...


All Characters in the following Blogs are based off of real people. Any resemblance to any persons, living or dead, is completely intentional.

The Shadows Verse:

Anthology of Shadows, A tale of men who became monsters.

Lost Souls (Vlog, September 2013), prey for the monsters who were once men.

My Fear Mythos/Doctor Who Crossover

Timelords and Terrors (Co-authored by Minute-Odyssey and Achilles)
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